expressionism and insanity, 2021
There has been a long-documented relationship between mental illness and the art movement of Expressionism, with many of the movements main contributors being found to or be presumed to have suffered from mental illness. Famously, Edvard Munch was known to suffer from anxiety and hallucinations, with much of his work being influenced by his illness.
Expressionism and Insanity, was created as part of a photo-book series, exploring a visual representation between expressionism and borderline personality disorder alongside psychological texts and definitions of mental illness. This series focuses on the experiences and writings of one individual diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and is not intended as a generalised interpretation of the disorder.
Psychopathy
is the scientific study of mental disorders - the ‘abnormal’ (Verywell Mind, n.d).
Abnormality can be defined as a deviation from ideal mental health.
Jahoda (1958) defined ‘ideal mental health’ to possess six characteristics, and absence of these characteristics indicated abnormality, and therefore potential for mental illness. These criteria are:
• Self-Attitudes - A positive view of the self
• Personal Growth - The capability for growth and development
• Integration - The ability to have positive relationships
• Autonomy - The ability to self-govern and be independent
• Accurate Perception of Reality
• Mastery of the Environment - Being able to meet demands of day-to-day situations.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a type of personality disorder that can affect how a person copes with life, relationships and how they feel emotionally (Rethink, n.d).
Mind (2018) states that people with borderline personality disorder may act impulsively, find it hard to keep stable relationships and feel as though they do not have a strong sense of self These behaviours deviate from ideal mental health.
expressionism and insanity
the following writings are EXCERPTS from the photo-book series ‘expressionism and insanity’.
june 28th, 2020
I figured I should write something while I still can. But I can hardly muddle through my own thoughts anymore. I don’t think I’ve written this slowly in a while, but my thoughts won’t process. And I guess I’m scare to write things down. It seems so fake written down. I’m not suicidal, not right now. But I don’t really want to live. It just seems so pointless and futile. What is the point? I’m still here enough to question these thoughts. I know what to do when I’m in crisis. But I don’t know what crisis is. Was it Tuesday when I could get out of bed? When I couldn’t stop crying at the thought of having to continue like this. This doesn’t sound terrible. I never didn’t think about hurting myself. Only dying. This note seems so fucking dumb. What is the point. I’m losing my memory. Small things, like what day it is. When I last showered. If I took my tablets or not. Sending messages. Details of conversations - usually the important ones. Everything is a blur. Like I can see it, but through some sort of dense fog. I started writing fast. Maybe crisis was when I stopped being able to sleep. Going to bed at 2am and being awake until 6, 7, 8… 12? Or maybe when I hit the other end of the scale and couldn’t face being awake and would sleep as long as I physically could. Until everyone else slept so I didn’t have to face anyone.
june 29th, 2020
I started hallucinating. I don’t remember when. I didn’t even register I was hallucinating at first. Not like hearing voices. I feel bugs crawling on me but there’s never anything there. I can see them darting in front of my eyes, But there’s nothing there. Or maybe my crisis point was when I started reliving everything. Every trauma. Everything I’ve suppressed. Even memories I didn’t realise I had. I don’t really have an opinion on any of that though. It makes no input on my lack of will to live. Maybe my crisis point was when I had the conscious idea to go into a hospital. I’ve never wanted that. But I don’t think I can. I’m not actively trying to kill myself. I’ve just given up. I stopped eating. I lost the routine. What’s the point? It’s too hard to even shower most days. And then I feel lazy. I’m tired. All the time. But not enough to sleep. What’s the point in sleeping anyway? Or eating. I could just go through the motions. That’s all I’ve been doing anyway. Even when I’m not sad I’m not always sad. I’ll get up eventually. Do something. Not just stare at walls. I’m just going through the motions and waiting for the will to come back. But it isn’t. And just in case I do completely lose all parts of myself. And completely drift away. I don’t have blame. Not for this. If I’m upset with you or some event occurred, or even if you contributed to my trauma. I don’t blame you for this. This wasn’t you, I promise. This isn’t emotional. It’s not even me. It’s just there. Slowly taking over. I don’t want to die. But I don’t want to live like this. It isn’t living. It’s barely existing. I don’t even know who I am anymore, and I’m not sure why I’m even still here.
notes
This project was influenced by a combination of lived experiences and in-depth study into psychology, mental illness and personality disorders. Mental illness is often generalised in the media into a one-size-fits-all approach, but no experience of mental illness is the same. Everyone’s experience of mental illness is different, so images and texts representing this experience will differ between each individual, and that is what makes art beautiful.
Expressionism in art has frequently been found to link to mental illness and psychopathy. Using paint, texture and block colour, I created a visual representation of one individuals’ experience with a deliberating mental disorder.
Many key artists of the expressionist art movement found themselves institutionalised and outcast by society. Borderline personality disorder is a life-long mental health condition, but while life-long it is not untreatable, with therapy borderline personality disorder can go into remission and individuals can learn to regulate emotions and live a normal life. But while this is possible and proven to be effective, treatment for individuals with personality disorders is not always available due to stigma in society and amongst mental health professional. I am lucky to have been allowed this therapy and thank the mental health professionals who supported me during the times documented in this series.
